Primary and Secondary Foods

admin — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 10:55:45 +0000

Wellness is about much more than the health of our bodies. When we are experiencing optimal wellness-we are nourished by every aspect of our lives.

I’d like to share with you the concept of primary and secondary foods. Secondary foods are the things that we eat and drink. Primary foods are all the other things that provide us with nourishment. Examples of primary foods are: relationships, spirituality, career, education, our homes, and being out in nature.

A life of wellness is one in which all of those elements function holistically to support your well-being and create fertile ground for the uncovering and fulfillment of your life purpose.

The Importance of Your Purpose

admin — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 09:04:06 +0000

Photo by Studio Sjaak

When we look at TV, read the paper and magazines, and look at the people around us, we come away with this idea that there are only a handful of ways to live one’s life. That’s simply not true. It was Gandhi who said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” When one is living from their highest purpose and is living on their own terms, an inner transformation takes place that spirals out into one’s environment which includes one’s friends, family, society, culture, country, and planet. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone was living from their highest purpose. It would be a very different place from what it is now. And I’d wager that it would be much better place.

There is a synergistic relationship between your life and your purpose. Your life feeds your purpose. And your purpose infuses your life with meaning, touching each and every part of it without exception. Without a purpose as the battery, your life has no juice and you feel like you’re just going through the motions.

Equal Partner

admin — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 16:37:00 +0000

Sjaak and I are interesting pair; him a 6’6” Dutchman who is an actor and artist by trade; and me a petite, black woman who grew up eating collard greens, grits, and cornbread. As a result, people often want to know how we met. I would too if I were them.

Here is our story.

I placed a personal ad on a dating site a couple of years ago. Not long afterwards, I received a flirt from a chap who lived in the Netherlands. I was unimpressed. You send flirts when you are too lazy to send a proper message. But I clicked on his profile, took one look at his cheekbones, and hit reply. In the end my shallowness paid off. What followed were months of emails. We discovered that we shared a similar philosophical outlook, interest in health and wellness, and are both devoted to personal development. Despite the multiple ways in which we clicked with each other, the reality was that we lived in different countries separated by thousands of miles. Furthermore, I was in the process of relocating to California and his profile said he wasn’t in a position to relocate.

After a failed attempt to meet up in person, our relationship mellowed into occasional emails. We tried to meet again, this time he was to visit me in California. When his plans didn’t pan out, our emails became even less frequent. At one point, he wrote to tell me that he was seeing someone. He hoped that we could still be friends, saying he valued our email exchanges. I was always open to the possibility of becoming involved in a romantic relationship with him. Yet, I had no expectations one way or another. And that’s exactly what I told him when I replied to his message. I had been dating other people all along and I continued doing so. Little did I know, his relationship was not destined to last.

I was growing more and more frustrated with the dating process. One day I counted the number of people I had dated since my divorce and was shocked. I dated a total of twenty-eight people. Why was I still single? At one point, I began to think that I was the problem. I feared that I was too educated, too smart, too successful, too ambitious, too attractive. Then came an equally unpleasant thought: that I was not enough of the aforementioned things. One day, something went off inside of me and I realized that I was just fine the way I was. Along with that realization came the knowledge that there was someone out there who wouldn’t be intimidated by fabulousness nor grossed out by my crustier traits. Once I turned that corner in my psyche, I began to attract very different types of men. In fact, there were four of them. They were as confident, motivated, and consciously turned on as I was. Ultimately, we were not a good match for each other, but the point is that I saw first hand how my changed relationship with myself manifested itself externally bringing me closer to my equal partner.

I experienced another important shift. I was working to further development my ability to enjoy life moment by moment. I decided to extend enjoyment of what is to my relationships. In the past, I focused on the imperfections of the men I dated and what was lacking in our relationship. I replaced paying attention to the negative with focusing on what was enjoyable. For example, while I wasn’t keen on the fact that the chemist had a kid, I loved the way he moved his body and tossed his hair. The Argentinian was not interested in seeing me exclusively, but when we were together, I enjoyed the ease with which we communicated. And I loved that he cooked for me. The personal chef was far too busy to be anyone’s man, but I really dug the way he was so attuned with his feminine side. He radiated wonderful energy and he had an awesome ass.

I realized that focusing on the pleasurable aspects of each man would bring my closer to my partner. Indeed my Sjaak possesses all the things I loved in the mean I dated. Well, he has no hair to toss about, but he has a great smile and a deep voice that rumbles in his chest when he speaks.

Eventhough I had learned to relax and enjoy the men I was dating, I still longed for the one with whom I could experience a conscious, co-created relationship. Every morning, before my feet touched the floor, I prayed that my complement and I be brought closer together. I knew that each person I dated brought me closer to him. That knowledge further heightened my ability to enjoy the men I was with. This further stimulated by ability to attract my ideal partner.

The realization that I was loveable as is, finding enjoyment in my relationships (eventhough they were not perfect) were strengthened by my imaginative ability. I went through my weeks as if my partner and I were already together. When I walked around the lake, I imagined us holding hands with him towering over me. And at night, I imagined falling asleep in his arms. So potent were my imaginings that I could almost feel the pressure of his touch and the warmth of his skin.

Meanwhile, almost 10,000 miles away, Sjaakk was doing some dating of his own. He experienced frustrations as well. So frustrated was he, that he went to a spiritual adviser with the hopes of gaining insight as to where his partner was to be found. He showed up with a laundry list of characteristics he wanted her to have. His adviser promptly told him to cut the crap and just ask for an equal partner. Later that week, he created an altar representative of the sort of relationship and partner he wanted. Once the components of the altar were in place, he recited three times, “Bring me an equal partner.” Two weeks later, I showed up.

We spoke by phone for the first time in the days leading up to my arrival. His voice had a strangely familiar quality that was soothing and quite frankly, left me weak in the knees. Still, I wanted to remain as objective as possible about him. That objectivity went out the window when we saw each other in person for the first time. The attraction was immediate and intense. By the end of the first night, we were rolling around in the bed together. By the end of the third night, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Things moved much more quickly than either of us anticipated and there still remained the fact that we are citizens of different countries. Yet we both understood that our coming together was an organic process that could not be dictated or controlled. So we set aside our doubts and fears and set about building the equal partnership we both longed for.

Home

admin — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 15:04:58 +0000

Tree roots

On November 21st, I gave up my apartment. Two days before, I put my stuff in storage. On the 23rd, I left my car parked at my friend’s place, hopped in her car and allowed her to drive me to San Francisco’s airport where I’d board a plane headed to London. I knew I would be away at least three months. I also knew that I would not have my own place for quite some time.

I’ve had a place of my own since I was twenty; something I have since come to realize is not common, especially here in Europe. Not having a place that I can call my own has been an interesting and not entirely pleasant experience.

My first few weeks abroad saw me exhausted from constant travel, starved for a home-cooked meal (rife with dark, leafy greens), and trying to manage the radical dislocation I felt as a result of being immersed in different ways of thinking, being, and doing. Not having a home made me more vulnerable to these experiences. At one point, I began to question my sanity. Did sane people willingly trade in comfort for living out of a suitcase and all the things that arise when you step outside your sphere of familiarity?

Searching for an answer to that question lead me to examine exactly what place and home mean to me.

A place is merely a point on the map. It can be either known or unknown to you. I have been to and fallen in love with many places and there are at least twice as many that I’d like to know.

A home is something else all together. It is a safe harbor where all things are familiar and known to you.

As I pondered the ways in which I was affected by my voluntarily homelessness, I remembered a conversation I had with a dear friend months prior. During that talk, she said that when a person is rooted into their body, the body becomes home. Ever the curious sort, I decided to see if my body could indeed take the place of the apartment I recently gave up. So I reached into the vaults where I store the tools I use to maintain my spiritual integrity. Out came the rooting exercise my friend taught me all those months ago.

After a week of consciously rooting into my body, my daily experiences transformed. I felt at ease and safe in even the most transient of places. After another week of rooting exercises, I began to feel nourished and supported. My external reality quickly re-aligned itself to match what I was feeling inside and I found myself in places where I could make my own meals and practice yoga. I also made the acquaintance of others who are eager to support my projects and assist me in settling here in the Netherlands. I’ve seen first hand how rooting into your body greatly facilitates your ability to extract from your environment the things that you need to survive and thrive.

Enough talk. Here’s that rooting exercise compliments of Jeannette over at www.soulfulindustry.com.

• Find a comfortable sitting position; either Indian style or in a chair with your feet placed flat on the ground.
• Close your eyes and begin to inhale and exhale slowly in and out of your nose.
• Engage mula bandha by tightening your perineum muscles and lifting your pelvic floor. As you release mula bandha imagine sending a large orange root down through your second chakra into the Earth’s core (Mother Earth’s heart).
• When you apply mula bandha, imagine pulling energy, support, love, nutrition up this root. As you relax mula banda reinforce the presence of the root, feel your energy connecting you with Mother Earth.
• As you continue to work with this root, know that Mother Earth provides all you need. It is impossible for you to lack anything because you are connected to source.

The Verge

admin — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:28:48 +0000

Photo of Monarch butterfly courtesy of Bob Mullaney

How many times have you been on the verge of something? It could be that you were on the verge of a discovery about yourself or the world around you. Or on the verge of breaking through limitations. Or maybe you’ve been on the verge of attaining some success. Perhaps you are constantly on the verge and are frustrated by your inability to reach the other side where understanding, happiness, peace, and abundance lie.

If that sounds like you, then take heart. You are not alone. I’m right there with you. The past six years of my life have been punctuated with moments of being on the verge. I’ve spent much time on the verge and have recently returned to the verge. I’ve decided to dissect the verge in an effort to understand it and develop tools for breaking through to the other side.

First, what is the verge? It’s an energetic state that is the culmination of past thoughts and actions that have been directed toward a particular end result. The energy of the verge is vivifying, it demands effort, it is often addicting, but there exists a beautiful reality on the other side.

The verge is vivifying because it brings with it the energy of purpose. When we are living in a purposeful way, each and every aspect of our lives are infused with meaning. Without meaning, we go through the motions of life with the vigor of a rag doll, which is to say, not much at all.

Have you ever witnessed a butterfly laboring to free itself from its cocoon? The verge is your cocoon and you are the butterfly. The struggle to free yourself is part of the process. The struggle to break free of your verge will strengthen your wings and enable you to fly later on. Without struggle, your wings will forever remain atrophied hindering your ability to soar to greater heights.

The verge can be addicting. This is especially true of those who focus on how much potential they have. If all you see is your potential, then you will always be stuck in a state of possibility unable to realize your potential. You will return to the verge again and again because it reinforces your story. When this happens, you’ve become addicted to the verge because it keeps you functioning at a level that is comfortable in its familiarity.

You can break out of the cocoon of your verge.

First, recognize that the verge is a place of concentrated energy. If it is properly channeled it can move mountains. If not, the energy dissipates and waits to be built up into another verge.

Second, understand that blockages prevent you from channeling the energy of the verge. What is keeping you from channeling the tremendous energy that is at your fingertips? Are you addicted to the idea of yourself as a person who merely has potential? What stories and fears are keeping you from unleashing your full potential?

Third, your blockages are the result of some negative past experience. You know what they are. They are the ones you hash over and over again in your mind. You relive those experiences because you are still trying to integrate them into your life. Reframe those experiences as lessons instead of atrocities. Bless the people involved instead of curse them. Those experiences and people can help temper your spirit and move to the next level, but only if you allow it.

Fourth, hit your personal reset button. Find a method for wiping clean your mental and emotional slate. It’s impossible to run new stories on top of old energy. For me, it’s a trip to the bathhouse and yoga. For others, it is a weekly fast. Figure out what empties you and turns your attention inward.

Fifth, create new stories that support you in channeling the energy of the verge. Perhaps you’d like to channel the energy of the verge to help you publish your book (like yours truly). If so, surround yourself with authors who are published or working toward being published. Learn about the publishing process. Begin to think of yourself as a published author and you will naturally take steps toward making that your reality.

Heart Space

admin — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 18:00:25 +0000

The Institute of Heart Math has discovered that there is a line of communication between the brain and the heart. Furthermore, the heart has a nervous system that is sufficiently complex to be considered a mini brain. Also, heart cells entrain each other, meaning they start to oscillate at the same rate. Here are a few key points I lifted from their research articles.

Heart rhythms are the most dynamic and reflective of inner emotional states and stress. Negative emotions lead to increased disorder in the heart’s rhythms and in the autonomic nervous system, thereby adversely affecting the rest of the body. While positive emotions create increased harmony and coherence in the heart rhythms and improve balance in the nervous system.
The heart communicates with the brain in ways that significantly affect how we perceive and react to the world.
John and Beatrice Lacy discovered that the heart has its own logic that often diverged from the direction of the autonomic nervous system. Those messages could affect a person’s behavior. Neurophysiologists discovered a neural pathway and mechanism whereby input from the heart to the brain would inhibit or facilitate the brain’s activity.
Andrew Arman discovered that the heart has a complex intrinsic nervous system that is sufficiently sophisticated to qualify as a little brain. The heart’s brain is an intricate network of several types of neurons, neurotransmitters, proteins, and support cells like those found in the brain proper. Its electric circuitry allows it to act independently of the cranial brain—to learn, remember, and even feel and sense.
Coherence is important in helping each of us maintain our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. Coherence in any system, including the human body, refers to a logical, orderly and harmonious connectedness between parts. Borrowing from physics, when we are in a coherent state, virtually no energy is wasted because our systems are performing optimally. When we speak of heart rhythm coherence, we are referring to smooth, ordered heart rhythm patterns. Some of the benefits of coherence are calmness, good energy levels, clear thinking, and proper immune-system function. Coherence begins when one shifts the location of consciousness from the brain to the heart by focusing on the heartbeat itself or how you are feeling. Not surprisingly, positive feelings—love, compassion, caring, etc. increase coherency. Negative feelings result in incoherence. Examples are: anger, fear, and anxiety.
There is a tendency for heart cells to entrain each other because of the proximity of their electromagnetic fields. Just as the electromagnetic fields of two heart cells causes them to begin oscillating together, when the electromagnetic fields of two hearts come together they start beating together. This phenomenon extends even further. When the heart’s electromagnetic field and any other organisms field comes into contact with each other (whether it has a heart or not), the fields synchronize and there is an extremely rapid exchange of information. The result is a significant change in the physiology of both organisms. As the two fields come together and synchronize, they produce a combination field that are in harmony. They produce something more than the sum of their parts. A unique identity comes into being as long as the fields are synchronized. So when you meet someone, the first thing you share is heart space.

What are your thoughts on the above?

Breaking out of Relationship Ruts

admin — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:20:38 +0000

Earlier this week, I sat in on a fabulous teleclass lead by LiYana Silver of Redefining Monogamy. The class consisted of a writing exercise designed to help you uncover and find freedom from your relationship patterns. Click here to download a recording of the call.

8 exercises to stretch your creativity

admin — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 16:20:37 +0000

Ghanaian musicians, oil on velvet

I saw this article in How mag and wanted to share it with you.

1. Stretch your pass ion: List three things you’re passionate about—professionally and personally.

How can you stretch one or more of these in new directions?

2. Stretch the Rules: What rule in your life or organization inhibits creativity? Now, replace it with your own Cylie Rule (in case you aren’t familiar with the Cylie rule, click here):

3. Stretch past mistakes: List three of your mistakes.

Brainstorm ways to turn these into success stories.

4. Stretch out of bad situations: What idea of yours hit a brick wall? How can you change or stretch it for a new audience?

5. Stretch your senses: Draw and write in a notebook when something is striking or interesting to you. These insights will reveal themselves again and again—often in your best work.

6. Stretch to hear small voices: Think of three voices you’ve failed to hear in your workplace or at home.

Ask questions. Probe for stories. Lean in and listen.

7. Stretch to see things differently: For the next week, pay extra attention to all kinds of shapes—signs and shadows, vehicles and vegetables, furniture and figures. Sketch and write about them. Stretch them out. See
them with new eyes. Find ways to use the patterns in designs and in product development.

8. Stretch Beyond Fear: Start practicing Kaizen today by taking one of the actions below

• read a magazine you’ve never seen before.
• rearrange the art and objects in your workspace.
• describe your first boyfriend/girlfriend without using the sense of sight.
• meet someone new and ask them five questions.
• swear off one of your bad habits for 24 hours.
• walk somewhere you would usually drive.
• call someone and say “thank you” or “I’m sorry.”

By Sam Harrison www.zingzone.com

Living Well: Consume vs. Go Deep

admin — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:46:10 +0000

I’ve been deeply submerged in the process of writing the proposal for my upcoming book. I decided to resurface for a bit to share a snippet from an email ‘conversation’ I had recently.

Several months ago, I left my 9 to 5 job. As a result, my economic status changed. I’m in the process of adjusting to having significantly less disposable income. My usual modus operandi would see me shopping, enrolled in various classes and workshops, and jet setting here and there. I simply don’t have the funds to be able to do those things now.

I took a look around, noting all the various experiences that make up my life. I had yet to go deeply into any one of them. Look up “Jill of all trades” in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of me–afro, piercings and all. What use is having fabulous life experiences if you’re only going to skim their surface? So I’ve decided to go deeper into my life.

Instead of buying new clothes, I’m experimenting with ways to re-vivify the clothes I’ve had for a while–trying new combinations and using inexpensive accessories to create totally new looks. Instead of signing up for workshops, I’m reviewing notes from classes I’ve taken in the past and I’m looking at new ways to apply what I’ve learned. Instead of running off to L.A. or New Orleans or taking that long coveted road trip to Vancouver, I’ve been traveling to places in my writing. Instead of taking a French class through the community college in the City, I’m going to examine my language weaknesses, then overcome them via self study (and finding a very cute Frenchman to practice with).

What all of this means is that instead of consuming more and more, I’m learning to relish and explore. We oftentimes confuse consumption with exploration and freedom. The real exploration comes when you re-visit what you think you already know. The freedom is in breaking apart what you know and re-assembling it into something much more suitable to you.

Okay, back to this damn book proposal.

Think: Basic tenets of materialism

admin — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 20:13:13 +0000

Here’s something to chew on.

Labyrinth at Land's End in San Francisco

That good living is defined by the amount of money earned.
That the more expensive an object is, the more valuable it is assumed to be.
That the presentation of image is more important than reality.
That success in life is literally defined by money and social position.
That whatever the majority believes as true, defines the nature of Truth itself.
That government, religious institutions and others of “official expertise” know what is right for us, to a degree that is well beyond our own comprehension or experience.
That human kind is above nature and does not need to observe natural laws, but only the laws of its own making. When an idea is made law then it is instantly justified. When an idea is made illegal it is instantly disgraced.
That the items to be bought by money are more desirable than what we already possess or can cultivate in our own selves, even more so than spiritual growth, clarity, wisdom, good will, love, happiness or any other natural consideration.
That the public has a general lack of intelligence which makes it incapable of being self governing, which implies that it must be controlled and guided, by propaganda or force of arms if necessary

Excerpt from the World Mind Society’s Survivalist Guide to the New Millennium.